Part 2 - Final wake-up call

(continued)
My final wake-up call was watching my ex, who was an alcoholic and a diagnosed pathological liar, having a major mid-life crisis and cheating on me, all at the same time.

My ex was coming several times a week to pickup our daughter. He gave our son the van to drive around town. My son then totalled the van in an accident. Both kids wanted to be with their dad because "he was more fun and took them places." One day I just snapped and pick up a butcher knife as he pulled up to the house.

I was absolutely shocked at myself. I put down the knife, as I said to myself, he is not worth it. From that moment on, I stopped literally pulling my hair out and went to the farthest room of the house so I wouldn't see my ex, hear him or talk to him every time he came to the house. I learned to hang up the phone when we would call and verbally beat me up. While I thought it was rude to hang up the phone (because that's what I was taught), I learned to hang up the phone with a great feeling of control over who said what to me. It was very, very powerful.

I watched women in the divorce groups, who after two years, were still pining for their exes. One day my psychologist asked me "when was I going to stop crying and what did I want from this therapy". My answer was to learn to live without a man. I wanted to be strong, happy on my own and support myself. I wanted to know what I did wrong and how can I could change that so that I didn't repeat the past as I went along with my new life. (continued)

Gloria Hildreth
"Reflections: A Moment in Time"
copyright 2009